Holiday stress can make you feel anxious, irritable, and burnt out.

Holidays are a hot topic this time of year in my San Diego private therapy practice. Whether I am working with an individual client on their burnout, perfectionism, or unprocessed trauma or if I am working with a couple on their attachment styles and communication issues, the holidays come up daily this time of year.

As a Latina therapist practicing online in SD, nearly all my current sessions are centered around holiday stress. The holidays bring up a lot for people. Joy, sadness, stress, just a lot. I want to give you some tangible coping skills to help you prepare mentally and get through the holidays while protecting your mental health.

Here is what I tell my clients and hopefully something here might be helpful for helping you get through the holidays. Plus down below I just talk a little bit more about why the holidays are so hard for us mentally and how we can create a less stressful holiday season.

A checklist to help you mentally Prepare, Cope, and Recover from holiday stress.

5 steps to help you prepare mentally for the holidays

Plan your time off work and look at your schedule
Know your limits and keep things simple
Keep up with healthy lifestyle choices
Protect your sleep
Get clear on your goals

5 coping skills to help with holiday stress

Focus on the positives
Shut down conversations kindly
Practice mindfulness
Keep up with basics like exercise and healthy foods
Make sure you rest when your body and mind needs it

5 recovery skills and self-care for after the holidays

Get back into your normal routine
Focus on your hobbies
Let the things that bothered you go
Reflect on what you did well
Reflect on hopes for next time

Top reasons why the holidays so hard on mental health?

You aren’t weak, the holidays are tough.

Holidays are a busy season and a stressful time of the year for many people. There are lots of events, and people to see and mingle with. There are often deadlines at work. There’s just a lot around the holidays and our brains are often over-extended. We find ourselves saying yes to lots of things and people and then find ourselves short on time. The go-go-go takes a toll on people’s mental health during the holidays.

Speak with your therapist about how to get through the holidays and challenge yourself on what you might need to work on in order to feel calmer during the holiday season. Your therapist can also help you unpack any holiday traumas or family issues that way it bothers you less. As an EMDR therapist in San Diego, it is often shocking to my clients just how much their bodies hold onto. Our inner child holds on to a lot and inner child therapy can help us release that a bit.

Another common thing I see is ADHD folks struggling with keeping routines, completing tasks on time, and cramming more into their schedule than they feasible can. Sound familiar? This is how a person with ADHD struggles daily, but even more so during the holidays. If you have ever wondered if you have untreated ADHD, please reach out. We can work together to make sure you get the right treatment and support to help you live your best neurodivergent life! As a Latina therapist who has a passion for helping BIPOC folks who have traits of ADHD and neurodivergence, this is something that is highly treatable and shouldn’t get in the way of living a good life.

How to set better boundaries at family holiday dinners and get-togethers.

Think of boundaries as being your best friend and superpower during the holiday season. Lots of people have trouble with setting boundaries, but boundaries can have such a positive impact on your mental health. As a Latina therapist, I often work with other fellow Latinos, Latinas, and Latines about how they struggle with saying no to their families. Saying no is like a bad word in the Latino community. I feel you, and therapy can help you feel more confident in boundaries and help you not take things personally. Say goodbye to the crushing guilt.

The best tip I can offer for setting boundaries with your family around the holiday season is to remember your job is not to make other people happy. And people can be annoyed with your choices and they still love you and you still love them. Love doesn’t mean I let other people get their way all the time.

If this sounds hard please reach out for therapy support. You can have healthier relationships with your family and you do not have to do it alone.

How to be more happy this holiday season in Sand Diego 2024-2025.

Happiness is a by-product of doing the things you love. It doesn’t just happen.

Create traditions to improve your mental health around the holidays.

Traditions are everything and I think people forget just how important they are. One of the main reasons Covid was such a disruption to the mental health of so many people is that we were no longer able to do our rituals and traditions. Weddings, graduations, weekly family dinners at mom’s.

Ask yourself what kind of family traditions you would like for the holiday season. Ask yourself what were the traditions you loved growing up. Going up to the snow for the day? Building a gingerbread house? The whole family gets together to make tamales, champurrado, and bunuelos. You are responsible for keeping the traditions alive.

Make the holidays more simple. The older I get the more I love keeping things simple. We as humans are so prone to decision fatigue. For holidays keep it simple. See how many get-togethers you can combine. Can you limit how many recipes you make? Can you delegate more? Can you practice saying no to the things that don’t make you that happy?

Focus on yourself and what is important to you to reduce your holiday stress.

Often we get too caught up in what other people want. Chronic people-pleasers and conflict-avoidant people make up the bulk of my therapy practice here in San Diego. Often I use a combination EMDR therapy with IFS to help them work through their attachment woulds so that they can be confident in how they show up in relationships.

During the holidays, it can feel impossible to say no, and people often feel guilty when setting boundaries. I get it, but even so, remember that other people’s feelings are not your responsibility. Let people have their feelings and let them work that out. You focus on your own feelings and as long as you're kind, honest, and wanting to connect with others that is really all you can do. And feel good about your efforts and know that they are enough. Hope something was helpful!

With Warmth,

Elisa Blair